How many people a player can skip. Players cannot draw their skipped names. Great for spouses, or the person you got last year.

How many people a player can wish for. A wish roughly doubles the liklihood of drawing that name.

What is this?

How Secret Santa Works: Rules, Budgets and Timeline.

Everyone in the group draws one name in secret and buys a gift for that person, within a budget you all agree on. Nobody draws themselves, and nobody finds out who had them until the gifts are opened.

The rules.

  1. Everyone draws one name. Each person gives one gift and gets one gift.
  2. Nobody draws themselves. If it happens with paper slips, everyone puts theirs back and draws again.
  3. Keep it secret. Don't tell anyone whose name you have. That's the whole game.
  4. Stick to the budget. Spending far more than everyone else is as awkward as spending far less.
  5. Give on the agreed day. Gifts are opened together, in person or on a call, and that's when the givers are revealed, if you want to reveal them at all.

The invite.

Most Secret Santa trouble starts with a vague invite. Put the budget and the dates in the first message, so nobody has to ask. Copy this, fill in the brackets, and send it to your group chat. 

Secret Santa time! 🎁

Budget: [budget]
Get your name in by: [ready-by date]
Gift day: [gift date]

Join here, add a wishlist link and hit Ready: [room link]
No sign-up needed. You'll see who you're buying for once everyone's in.

You'll get the room link when you create a room at the top of this page.

Setting a budget.

Agree on one number before anyone draws. A cap works better than a range, because people tend to aim for the top of a range anyway.

  • Friends: $10 to $20.
  • Work: $20 to $30. Keep it low enough that nobody feels pressured to join, and keep it opt-in.
  • Family: $25 to $50, or whatever works for the people with the tightest budgets.

A timeline that works.

  1. Four weeks out: pick the gift day and the budget, and send the invite.
  2. Three weeks out: everyone joins, adds a wishlist, and readies up. This is your ready-by date.
  3. Two to three weeks out: draw names. Shopping starts.
  4. One week out: anything being shipped should be on its way.
  5. Gift day: open everything together.

Shipping and long distance.

If gifts have to travel, work backwards from the gift day. Ordering online and shipping inside one country usually needs a week, more in December when carriers are busy. Shipping abroad can take several weeks, plus customs. When in doubt, draw earlier.

  • Ask for wishlist links. Picknames doesn't ask for addresses. Many online wishlists can ship straight to their owner, so the giver never needs one. The room leader can make a wishlist required before anyone can ready up.
  • Use a ready-by date, not a draw time. Nobody has to be online at once. People join and ready up when it suits them, and the draw happens once the last person is in. Whoever wasn't there sees their name the next time they open the room.
  • Checking from another device. On the same phone or computer, the room is listed under Rejoin. On a different one, copy your rejoin code from the room menu first and enter it under Rejoin.
  • Want a live moment anyway? Get everyone ready ahead of time, then start the draw on a video call. Each name shows up on its own screen at the same moment.

The awkward bits.

Couples, and last year's pick.

Couples usually shouldn't draw each other, since they're buying each other gifts anyway. On Picknames each player can "skip" names they shouldn't draw, and the room leader sets how many skips everyone gets. Use one for a partner and one for last year's person.

Go easy on skips in small groups. If too many names are ruled out there may be no way to pair everyone, and the draw will say so instead of quietly breaking a rule. Family Secret Santa has more on couples, kids and in-laws.

Someone drops out after the draw.

Once names are drawn the room closes, so you can't add or remove anyone or redraw in that room. Two ways to handle it:

  • Hand their person on. The person who dropped out tells the organizer, privately, whose name they had. The organizer then posts: "Whoever had [name], please buy for [their person] instead." Nobody else's secret gets out, and everyone still gets one gift.
  • Start over. If it's early and nobody has shopped yet, make a new room without them and draw again.

A gift is late, or forgotten.

It happens. A quick "yours is on its way" on gift day is plenty, and the reveal can wait. If someone forgets entirely, the organizer can nudge them privately. Don't call it out in front of the group.

Wishlist etiquette.

  • Put a few things on it, at different prices within the budget, so your giver has a real choice.
  • Link to the exact item, size or color when it matters.
  • Givers: buy from the list, or close to it. A wishlist is a hint, not a contract, but it's there for a reason.
  • Picknames shows your wishlist only to whoever draws you, once names are drawn.

Someone can't find their result.

On the same device, the room is under Rejoin. On another device, they need the rejoin code from the room menu.

Ready to draw names?

Make a room, send the link, and let everyone set up on their own time. Free, no sign-up, up to 100 players.

Start a Secret Santa

Secret Santa questions.

Can you draw your own name in Secret Santa?

Not on Picknames. The draw never gives anyone their own name, so there's nothing to redo.

How much should you spend on Secret Santa?

Whatever the group agrees on. $10 to $20 is common with friends, $20 to $30 at work, and $25 to $50 in families. The important part is that everyone uses the same number.

How far ahead should we draw names?

Two to three weeks before the exchange gives people time to shop. Add a week or two if gifts are being shipped.

Can we do Secret Santa if we live far apart?

Yes. Everyone joins from their own phone or computer, whenever they can, and results wait for anyone who missed the draw. Leave extra time for shipping.

Does the organizer know who has whom?

Not on Picknames. The organizer is just another player and only sees their own result.

Can someone join after the names are drawn?

No. Once the draw starts the room closes, so make sure everyone has joined and readied up first.